I haven't updated in quit a bit. Been busy I guess you could say. So much on my mind. My thoughts are everywhere. I will try to stick to one subject type thing and vent away but it's gonna be hard. So where to start. Okay main topic on my mind. Hubby left to go out to sea til Friday.This weekend was just plain blah. I was very sick and throwing up on Friday when he got home around 1pm. I was so glad to have him there so I didn't have to be alone anymore than I already was. I couldn't keep anything down and was scared for my baby boy. I stayed in touch with my mom and she told me that she thinks I have a 24 hour bug. She told me to keep drinking sips of water and eat some crackers. So I did. I ended up eating some soup and drinking gatorade with ginger ale that night. It helped alot. I woke up the next morning feeling loads better. I was very hungry. LOL Then Saturday hubby and I got out and about and took a drive to VA Beach and around Norfolk. Then we had a nice dinner at Panera. It made me feel so much better to have some yummy soup in a bread bowl. Sunday. (Yesterday) Well wasn't the best day ever. It was one of the most annoying stressful days I've had in a while. Drama with a friend who basically just crossed the line. It sucks loosing friends but I have to cut out the bad ones. Then fighting with Matt. Which is nothing new. Military marriages are hard and very stressful. We've been going through alot lately with moving back home, buying a home, his stress at work, a baby on the way, dealing with not much time together, his PTSD issues, and be being very hormonal and moody. We got coffee and took a drive and was hoping it would help us calm down but in the end it didn't. We spent last night trying to talk stuff out from the fight we had days before.
This morning he left around 4:30am to head into work on the ship. I cried before he left cuz It always hurts saying goodbye. I know he is coming back on Friday but once that ship is in the ocean I just get all scared that if something happens to me or my dog or us we are alone without any instant contact. Meaning cell phones or being able to call the ship. I just worry more with me being pregnant. I worry about everything lately. I just hate being alone. I'm 300 miles from family and it just scares me. I don't have like any friends around here. I don't hang out with other military spouses. I can't make friends like others do. I'm just different. But anyways I mean I'm a strong woman and have gotten through two deployments already and a bunch of out to seas. I will stay busy this week by cleaning the apartment, organizing, working on my school work, blogging, taking care of Bentley, de stressing myself, and just resting all week. It just sucks I can't drive or I would plan a week of fun and take Bentley to parks and stores and stuff. But I'm stuck here in my apartment with my laptop and my dog. Alone.
I do miss my husband every time he walks out that door. It may just be to pick up dinner, take the trash out, going to work, or like today going out to sea til Friday. I keep crying today but the first day is always the hardest. Then it gets easier. I'm glad I had my mom to vent to this morning. Matt called me at 10:40am to tell me they were getting ready to leave. I sounded all raspy and gross. He was all cheerful and excited it seemed. He told me he loved me and said he was gonna email me and FB chat me as much as he could this week. He said with the inspections he was gonna be busy but would try his hardest. I was normal and said I was gonna miss him and I loved him too. After I got off the phone I laid there and then I got the feeling in my chest and started to cry. I was gonna miss that voice alot. I called my mom and was glad she had off so I could vent to her and feel better. She knew with me being pregnant it was hard and I was soo much more emotional than ever. She reassured me everything would be okay and that I had to stay busy.
Now some of you prolly think why is she crying over a few days away from her husband..... And that's what you can think. But in this crazy world and being pregnant any time I'm away from my husband I get upset. Out of the 2 year Matt and I have been married we've spent more time away from each other than together. The first year married we spent only 2 months together. Oh Military Life....
-Corissa Marie <3
0 Comments:
Post a Comment