Today is just one of those days... I just wish he was home. I had another break down kinda. My parents & I got into a fight. & if you knew my history on that stuff you wouldn't be surprised. We used to fight alot when I was a teenager. It used to get back. This time we fought reminded me off all the bad stuff. The yelling and swearing and and depression and crying... Oh the joy of when I was young. I hated my childhood yet I miss it at the same time. I miss the good things. But anywho We got into a fight and my dad almost kicked me out. So I was trying to talk to a few friends to get a ride back down to Norfolk. I was asking anyone I could. But then my dad asked to sit down and talk to me so I did. He told me he didn't want me to leave and he wanted to help me with all the things that need done. I cried cuz serious talks with my dad I end up crying. We never hug or say 'i love you'. We just don't. So I decided to stay cuz Bentley also has a Vet appointment at 11:00am tomorrow. So I kinda don't wanna miss it. So I'm staying and getting the stuff done. I'm staying positive and keeping my head up. I'm a strong girl who's not gonna break down.
So I got an email today around 2pm from Matty. I was so excited. He now writes longer emails and puts details in them. He also said alot of nice things like "You look so beautiful in your pictures" He never says how beautiful I am. He wasn't much of a romantic. Well he was when we first dated but when he came home from his IA deployment he wasn't so himself. But he and him shipmates think he's him old self again. I'm just so excited cuz my real Matty is on his way home! Not the man who left all blahh... But yeah it was such a sweet email. He just makes me feel so loved inside. I miss him sooo much! I can't help but gush about him. I've never been this in love since him and I got married. I feel with him gone I've fallen more in love with him than ever. Every time I look at his pictures I get butterflies in my tummy. He is down right amazing! I realized he could just up and leave again like that. Surprise deployments suck! I never realized how much I could love someone til now. To stay fully faithful through a deployment and to give up everything you have to be with them. I know how it feels. I'm getting used to how crazy this military life can be. I'm stronger than I have been. I've always been a tough chick. This just makes me tougher. I'm only 20 and have gone through 2 deployments.
So now I'm watching Veronica Mars on Netflix. I love this show! Even though I own all 3 seasons on DVD. lol Good show!! Kept me sane in HS. :)
Well that is all for today. Good Night loves!
-Corissa Marie <3
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